Friday, June 22, 2007

BUXOMRant: Untameable!

Ok, here it goes. I will be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a Curvalicious Phenomenon... I'm a size 14/16, which throws me in the "Plus Size" (cringes at that term, it's so close to SuperSized) arena, but I'm also 5'10". This means that most "Plus Sized" clothing doesn't fit me correctly and I feel like I have to straddle both worlds- praying that I'll fit into some of the higher sized 14/15 clothes at department stores and also venturing into the Layne Bryants of the world.

I'm not a fan of Layne Braynt- I'll just come out and say it. Why? Well, because I feel like their aim is to cover us up. Every time I go into their store or surf their site, I see very matronly cut shirts that hide curvalicious cleavage and pants that don't hug the tushy like they should. Who care if it gives you a little stomach pooch, a little muffin top? Muffin tops RULE. Say it with me now, "MUFFIN TOPS RULE!" They're sexy little bits of chub and shouldn't be demonized, at least not when they occur naturally (when I see women wearing pants 4 sizes too small for them, that's another thing).

So, while checking Layne Bryant in my daily fashion exploration, I came across one of their new items and had instant chills. Not the good kind of chills, the "OH DEAR SWEET GOD STOP" chills. They're selling Tummy Tamer Jeans, which promise to give you "a sexier, sleeker figure" (see image, left). Why! Why isn't it sexy for BUXOM Broads to just be their curvy, sweet selves? How isn't chub sexy? Really?!

I'll be honest here, I think women of all body types are hot. I don't just love curvy chicks- I think we women really got the good end of the deal when we were created, because, well... I mean LOOK at us! We get to be hot, feminine, strong, sturdy, athletic, caring, aggressive, heroic... you name it, that's us. Men are awesome too, but even most men agree that, as far as bodies go, women really won that battle. I feel lucky every day to be a woman, plain and simple.

Sigh. Look, I'm not going all soap-box on girdles. I personally feel like they should be abolished- stop holding us in! Let us fly free and be beautiful- whether we're slight and svelte or big and sassy! But I know that girdles can give a good emotional pick-me-up on our down days and make us feel better. So, if you're a girdle lover, that's all good.

I just don't like how Layne Bryant, a clothing company that should be reveling in the awesomeness of Curvalicious women, keeps offering fashions that cover-up, constrict and minimize those curves. Making a big deal about jeans that minimize our flesh and hold us in just seems to contradict the idea that they think curvy gals are sexy, beautiful and just as entitled to good fashion as everyone else.

I would love it if Layne Bryant and other mass clothiers like them would stop offering up fashion that hides and minimizes the curvy physique. How about actually tailoring jeas so we don't need the girdle? How about constructing jeans that fit our tushies and stay up?! What about NOT selling us ULTRA LOW RIDING PANTS that are made for girls with no bums? How about dresses that show our sexy curves, not cover us up in moo moos!!

Now I'm not saying all of their clothing is bad. There are some HELLA cute things there and I buy them up like hotcakes, when I get up the courage to venture in...

I just wish they'd stop hocking this crap my way. I like my big ol' luscious hips and tummy, thank you!

Thoughts?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

BUXOM Loves: Fashion

Whew! It's not even 9am my time and already I have two amazing fashion spots to share. I think that my whines last night of, "Dear God, it's so hard to find hot, cute clothes in my size that don't try to cover me up or make me look like a matronly cow. Please help!" were answered. So, without further ado, here's the goods!

Bitten | by Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker may just be my new heroine. With her new clothing line, Bitten, SJP has tackled two major problems in one: good fashion that is a) affordable & b) comes in sizes bigger than 14/15. My perusal of Bitten this morning made me just want to kiss her (come n get it SJP! Ok, maybe not... Ok, maybe). The styles offered are fresh, young, exciting, sexy and meow! I couldn't stop clicking on the preview fashions and had to pick my jaw up off the floor at the prices- a cute shirt for eight bucks?? Sailor pants for under twenty??!! And that's not the best part- sizes range from 2-22 AND she actually has a few plus size models showing off the goods. However, and this is my only criticism, it's only like two women and the rest are pretty model-esque... HOWEVER we will not look an awesome step forward-horse in the mouth.

Thanks to Lorien for passing this on to me (she also has found/purchased some of the line and is very happy with the results)!

Hips and Curves

Lingerie shopping drives me nuts. Usually this is because I go to one of the big department stores in my area and everything is designed for less-endowed women. Even if I do happen to desire a sexy little night dress and find it in my size, the chest usually doesn't offer enough room for my tatas and ends up making them look like lumpy, satin covered sacks. Looking in the mirror and seeing myself in this state instantly triggers a much sore rant- how the fashion industry doesn't think bigger women are sexy and, therefore, doesn't make sensual apparel that fits and compliments us. OR if it does make lingerie that is supportive and tailored to our curves, it's matronly, stuffy and usually in beige.

So, you can imagine my extreme happiness this morning when Anna sent me the link for Hips and Curves. Surfing around it, I not only found a ton of affordable and really sexy items (the diva in me immediately checked out their corsets/bustiers), but the models alone made me want to jump up and do an 80s "YES!!" fist in the air. It's so refreshing to see Curvalicious lingerie models who aren't hiding their bodies or being bashful/sterile looking. Looking at these awesome, vampy chicks is inspiring and their fashions are so sassy!

Thanks to Anna for passing along this awesome fashion site!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

A good point

My dear friend Anna just posed a great question to me via gChat... here's the cut n paste:

Anna: just out of curiosity, why did you make it a blogger blog, and not an lj community where others could contribute?

Me: I [started this blog] because I feel like it's important to have an actual blog in online magazine format to give weight to the issue. My thing is, there are SO many skinny girl beauty blogs- that show me images of toothpicks wearing dolce and gabanna and I'm tired of that being the only voice.
I want something with authority and honesty that isn't infiltrated and tainted by marketing dollars and littered with google adsense crap about diet pills.



I know this blog is REALLY new and all and trust me, I don't have a big head about it. But I have been thinking of starting this up for years now and finally got so jazzed up over a recent shopping trip that I just felt like it was time. I LOVE the idea of an LJ Community and an open forum. Miss Anna, when you start it up, I will make sure to post about it! But I want this blog to have gravitas and I think this really is the best medium.

(Let me assert one thing- I am not coming down on skinny gals with that quip about other fasion blogs, but stating a fact. Most fashion blogs portray a version of skinny that puts my petite figured friends on edge and doesn't do anything for the general well-being of women's self-esteem. My lovely smaller sisters, I am not addressing you. I know you share just as many issues as we curvy gals do and have to deal with the same fashion industry that makes us ashamed of stretch-marks, wrinkles, cellulite and naturally hot imperfections.)

With that said....

BUXOM wants you!

Have a good idea for an article? Is there a fashion or beauty issue you'd like to have tackled? Do you want to write an article for BUXOM? Wanna be a model/fashion outing fashionista?

If so, feel free to contact me: missbeezers AT gmail DOT com. I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks to all of you who have started reading BUXOM and sending praise! I can only hope that it gets better and better with more input and fresh ideas, so keep em comin!

and with that, I leave you with an awesome fashion moment of zen...



Beth Ditto style maevyn and hotty.

-Curvy Wishes and Lipgloss Kisses (ooh I just sounded so Toya!)

Brooke

Mika - Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)

Ok Ok... I just HAD to. Because, well, even though this song is a bit silly, I LOVE the message.

PS- those girls are MUCHO HOT!!!

The Great Skirt Hunt- Part I: Theory

When I ask most of my curvy friends about the clothing item that terrifies them most to shop for, "skirts" are the main offender. This is funny, since skirts are iconically feminine. Most of the major woes with skirt buying stem from two basic elements- cut and fabric. But do not fear, today I am going to address what we, as Curvanistas, can do to combat some of the fashion industry's skirt faux-pas and tips for finding a skirt that works for your awesome bod.

I'm going to focus mainly on cut for now and throw in some fabric sense along the way. Though skirts can come in any of a number of bizarre, asymmetrical shapes lately, I'm going to focus on the "skirt standards" today: a-line, pencil, tulip, balloon, mini. All of these skirt cuts have their uses and are curve-complimenters for some of us.

The A-Line

The name says it all- the "A-Line Skirt" is, quite simply, a skirt that tapers at the waist and then increases in a regular angle to its termination, usually at the knee or floor. Besides being one of the most simple cuts, it is also the most universal. A good A-Line skirt is a MUST for any woman, as long as it's the right length. I repeat, it must be The Right Length! One of the biggest faux-pas in A Lines is the what I call the "Matron Cut" (see image on Right). Please, please PLEASE do not wear A-Line skirts that end anywhere below the upper calf unless they're floor-length (and you should only wear floor-length for semi-formal and black tie affairs). The rule of thumb for selecting a good A-Line skirt is as follows. For shorter gals, the A-Line can terminate just above the knee to give your sexy gams more exposure. For beauteous amazons, you may have the A-Line terminate just at the knee or just below. Please no A-Line minis! These defeat the entire purpose of the mini skirt, which is to flatter and show off your awesome tush (we'll get to that in a moment). The only, ONLY way that an a-line mini is acceptable is if it's a very SLIGHT A-Line. As for fabrics, here's the rule- no stretch material! An A-Line should be made in a mid-heavy weight cotton, rayon, courderoy, twill or canvas material. What I'm getting at here is to think "bottom weight!" A heavier fabric will allow the A-Line to keep its signature shape and not hug to your booty at one end and slup like a wet towel at the other.


The Pencil Skirt

Easily my favorite skirt cut because it is curve-hugging! The Pencil Skirt is form fitted to follow the awesome lines of your thighs and tapers tightly to the knee with a slit in the back *sometimes in the front, but gah! please no!* for mobility. Many of my Curvalicious friends shy away from the pencil skirt, saying it's "too tight" or "shows all of my badonkdonk.." This is a problem HOW? Look, you need to embrace your awesome curves, not hide them! And a good pencil skirt will do just that.

Now, the trick to buying a pencil skirt is again, length and fabric! A good Pencil skirt should, like the A-Line, end at your knee with the same rules for shorter/taller gals applying. It should NOT end at your mid-calf or mid-thigh. Also, I'm not a huge fan of patterns and busy fabrics- the Pencil skirt serves best in black, deep brown or a va-va-voom red, to bring out your inner starlet. Fabrics on the Pencil skirt should be stretchy but not thin! A good mid-weight stretch fabric gives you just enough room to move about comfortably and will mold to your awesome tushy and BadaBOOM thighs. Note: Pencil skirts can also be great in denim, just make sure they're stretch denim! Note 2: you will simply HAVE to buy some awesome retro mary jane heels or stappy shoes to show these girls off! Big black combat boots also work to give you that Meowww Don't Mess With Me look.


The Tulip

Think of the Tulip as a bizarre meshing of both the A-Line and the Pencil skirt. This skirt cut derives its name from its, well, tulip-esque shape that starts tapered and fitted through the waist and hips and then flowers out at the knee. This shape can be very nice, feminine and flirty... it's sort of the Josephine Baker of skirts- soft, sexy, sassy. However, this skirt get out of hand and can be extra yucky if not constructed correctly. Also, eek.. this is one of the hardest to get a good fit on. But DON'T give up! It's a simple obstacle to overcome and you've already got the tools to do it- since this is a marriage of the A-Line and the Pencil skirt, where should the flowering start? You got it, at the knee! If it starts any higher or way lower, toss it back on the rack! This skirt can be constructed with either bottom-weight fabrics (though it should not be as form-fitting as the pencil, you need room to move!), though I prefer it in a flirtatious, airy fabric like rayon or georgette. Think of a nice, flowy, swishy fabric. Patterns are allowed as long as they're not too busy, bright or harsh/geometric. It's all about curves!


The Balloon Skirt

Ok, I need a moment to breathe here, as this skirt gets me a bit worked up. I'll level with you- I think most balloon skirts are HIDEOUS. Why? Well, because they're Balloony! Unless you get one in the perfect cut and fabric, these can make you look lumpy, frumpy and dumpy. I avoid balloon skirts like the plague- mostly because I feel like their mission in life is to deprive us of the shape of our beauteous curves and make us look like frumpy sacks. My rule for balloon skirts is to keep it short- anything at or below the knee is too and will lead everyone right down to your knees and away from your cute tushy. If you MUST wear one, do it above the knees or, better, mid-thigh length in mini form. This way you're following complimenting your bum, not hiding it! Also, make sure you get this in a mid weight fabric so it retains its shape and in a lighter hue so it looks light and airy, not big and frumpy (I highly approve of the one pictured above and the bow is a nice, tasteful element). Try this one with kitten heels or light, strappy shoes.

The Mini

Stop it. Do not be scared of a good mini. {whispers} The Mini Skirt, you may not know this, is a BUXOM gals best friend. Seriously! A well-done mini, especially in denim form, will make your BadaBOOm butt like awesome and give you gams a mile long, no matter your height! I know these can be scary, because we're taught that women shouldn't wear minis unless they're wafer thin and have calves cut from marble, but to hell with that! Show it off, be sassy and proud! Cut note here- your mini should not be a coochie-chiller. To do the test, have a seat in the changing room and make sure that your hoo-ha isn't hanging out. Remember, a mini is about being flirty and foxy, not trashy. A good rule of thumb is to keep it to mid-thigh. Also, fabric should be a bottom-weight or stretchy denim. Please no light, stretchy material... ugh!

That's if for The Great Skirt Hunt- Part I: Theory. Remember, it's not about any one cut not working on you- they ALL can. It's about being an astute Curvanista and getting the right length, fabric and sass appeal!

Join me soon as I take it to the streets and search for a fabulous summer skirt. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

BUXOMbling: Godess Style


Sihaya Designs on Etsy

Every girl needs a little bling to adorn her fabulous self, especially BUXOM Broads. A beautiful, flirty necklace brings just the right attention to your purdy d├ęcolletage and can really give you an sassy fashion pick-me-up.

Sihaya Designs' creations are definitely feminine, flirtatious and sassy, but there's more- they're all about female energy and goddess archetypes. Sihaya Designs pairs together gorgeous stones, shells and baubles with flattering settings that bring out your inner goddess- sultry Venus (pictured above), sinuous Snake Goddess of Crete (below). Plus, if you don't find your inner goddess in her shop, just commission her to whip one up for you.



The prices are also very reasonable for handcrafted work, with ranges from $15-$45. Also, you've gotta love a Woman-owned business!

Check out the entire Sihaya Designs Collection for more treats.

(NOTE: All BUXOM shops are featured for merit of fashion awesomeness and NEVER due to any form of payment or advertising buck. Nepotism is also frowned upon, so shop with confidence!)

Welcome: AKA Get Down With Your Bad Self

Welcome to BUXOM, a fashion and beauty blog for Curvalicious Women. Because, well, I love being a buxom broad and I'm all about self love and embracing your body, no matter what size you sport.

Just a note- this blog is not for trashing women who aren't buxom or curvy. We will not hate on our skinny sisters here, as that just propagates negative energy between us gals and doesn't get any of us anywhere. Women, by nature, are beautiful, varied and exotic, so all sizes rock. But, in cliche terms, you have to write what you know.

So, with that out of the way, welcome to BUXOM. I'd like to start with a vocabulary lesson. Never fear, it's very short, but illustrates the mantra of BUXOM... these words are strictly forbidden and will hence be stricken from your Buxom Broad vocabulary:

*Slimming
*Controlling
*Cinching
*Thigh/Bust/Stomach/Fat Reducing

And I'm sure we'll find more as we go along. The fact of the matter is that by becoming a BUXOM femme, you are committing yourself to a lifestyle of love- loving your fat, your jiggle, your awesome BadaBOOM, your feminine, delicate, strong and take-no-crap body.

Ok... (steps off soapbox) down to the business.

Fashion: Know Thyself

We all know that the fashion industry isn't fair. Most apparel makers are basing the cut, style, fabric and pattern choices on a body ideal that most of us don't possess. Instead of wallowing in a grumpy hole and giving up on fashion, I suggest an alternative- know thyself. Knowing and loving your body for what it is now is the main key to becoming an empowered shopper that can hunt out hot fashion with an eagle's eye. Being a Curvalicious Fashionist is not about having everything fit you perfectly everywhere you go (though that would be a godsend), it's about being able to know what looks good on you and makes you feel all MEOW inside.

Now, this may be a little hard, but to fully achieve this you need to take some nekkid time in front of the mirror and get down with your bad self. For a test subject, I'll offer up myself as a guinea pig.



Voila, I give you me. I'm a lovely Amazon woman with curves-a-plenty. Now, in order to know how to shop for yourself, you have to analyze your best features and know what they are, as well as which cut and style of clothes will detract from them. This is the first rule to becoming a fashion diva.

Let's start from the bottom up. Take a look at your legs. Are they long or short? Muscular or soft? Don't you dare get into thoughts like "stumpy", "match-stick", "lumpy" or "manly". Notice your calf-to-thigh ratio- are your calves really tiny and your thighs pretty formidable, or do you find your calves are just as well-built as your thights... there are no wrong answer, just awareness. Now, pick your favorite part of your legs and jot it down. This is your leg feature and it will be referenced in future posts (short and skirt shopping, anyone?). I have long, soft legs without a ton of muscle definition. My favorite part of my legs are my calves and I love pointing attention to them. My calves are actually pretty small in comparison to my hips/thighs (Practical use: This makes me shy away from "skinny" jeans that tend to make my calves look even smaller and less noticeable. Instead, I opt for boot cuts that draw the eye to my favorite part).

Next, it's on to the tush, hips and lower waist (AKA my favorite part of my body!). Let's look at your rump. Is it big and bubblicious? Tiny and muscular? Square or round shape? How about your hips? Are they wide with a bit of BamBAM, a nice average size or column-esque? And travel upwards to your lower waist (aka where a lot of us seem to be wearing those low-riding pants, lately). First things first- everyone has chub there, no matter how small. Learn to love the Venus-pooch! Do you have some nice size Venus-chub there, or are you sporting a six pack? Is there definition, or lots of soft flesh? Again, pick your favorite part from this section and jot it down for when we go skirt and jean shopping (ooh and bathing suits). I have a big bubblicious behind with wide BamBAM hips and a chubby six pack (thanks, bellydance). My favorite part is my tush and I love love love it (again, accentuating the mini-skirt love and nice, tight fitting jeans).

Movin' on up, we come to the natural waist, chest and shoulders. We'll keep these together, since they're what drives our bra, shirt and top cut of our dresses. Is your waist well-definied (hello, hourglass!) or soft and column-esque? Is your bust large-and-in-charge, medium or petite? Is your ribcage broad or slight? Do you have broad shoulders or are they round and tapered? Look at the proportions down from your shoulders to chest/bust size to natural waist and notice what beautiful lines your body has. Now it's time to...yep! Pick your favorite. I love my bust- it's on the smaller size in comparison to my shoulders and natural waist, but I'm a fan (this makes me so mad when plus-size fashions try to cover them up, so I rebel with d├ęcolletage flattering shirts).

And, finally, it's arm time! Now, I'll be frank with you- this is my nervous zone. I grew up with a mother who was always pointing out arm-jiggle in others, so this was my hardest part to love. But, it's important none the less. Arm shape, tone and proportion will help us find great sleeve-lengths, sleeve cuts and empower us with finding tank-tops and shirts that show off our awesome selves. So, are your arms defined or fleshy? Are they long or short? Look at the proportion of your forearms to upper arms- are your forearms just as fleshy or tone as your upper arms, or is one more defined than the other? How about your elbows? Do you have underarm jiggle or is it flat as a board? Again, what's your favorite part? My arms are fairly proportional to each other and I have underarm jiggle-a-plenty. As for my favorite part, I love my forearms and wrists (Practical useage: I tend towards 3/4 length shirts and lots of big bracelets to accentuate them).

Now take a deep breath and look at all of your favorite parts you've jotted down.

My BUXOM Bod
*sexy calves
*bubblicious booty
*awesome tatas
*sweet forearms and purdy wrists

Damn, you're hot! Doesn't it feel good? Keep this list on you-post it to a blog entry, put it in a word file, slip it in your wallet- but don't lose it. This will be your key to fashion, your first step towards getting away from "I look terrible in X" or "I hate clothes that make people look at my Y."

Yay. Class dismissed. See you next time with Fashion Foray I: Skirts.