Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Welcome: AKA Get Down With Your Bad Self

Welcome to BUXOM, a fashion and beauty blog for Curvalicious Women. Because, well, I love being a buxom broad and I'm all about self love and embracing your body, no matter what size you sport.

Just a note- this blog is not for trashing women who aren't buxom or curvy. We will not hate on our skinny sisters here, as that just propagates negative energy between us gals and doesn't get any of us anywhere. Women, by nature, are beautiful, varied and exotic, so all sizes rock. But, in cliche terms, you have to write what you know.

So, with that out of the way, welcome to BUXOM. I'd like to start with a vocabulary lesson. Never fear, it's very short, but illustrates the mantra of BUXOM... these words are strictly forbidden and will hence be stricken from your Buxom Broad vocabulary:

*Slimming
*Controlling
*Cinching
*Thigh/Bust/Stomach/Fat Reducing

And I'm sure we'll find more as we go along. The fact of the matter is that by becoming a BUXOM femme, you are committing yourself to a lifestyle of love- loving your fat, your jiggle, your awesome BadaBOOM, your feminine, delicate, strong and take-no-crap body.

Ok... (steps off soapbox) down to the business.

Fashion: Know Thyself

We all know that the fashion industry isn't fair. Most apparel makers are basing the cut, style, fabric and pattern choices on a body ideal that most of us don't possess. Instead of wallowing in a grumpy hole and giving up on fashion, I suggest an alternative- know thyself. Knowing and loving your body for what it is now is the main key to becoming an empowered shopper that can hunt out hot fashion with an eagle's eye. Being a Curvalicious Fashionist is not about having everything fit you perfectly everywhere you go (though that would be a godsend), it's about being able to know what looks good on you and makes you feel all MEOW inside.

Now, this may be a little hard, but to fully achieve this you need to take some nekkid time in front of the mirror and get down with your bad self. For a test subject, I'll offer up myself as a guinea pig.



Voila, I give you me. I'm a lovely Amazon woman with curves-a-plenty. Now, in order to know how to shop for yourself, you have to analyze your best features and know what they are, as well as which cut and style of clothes will detract from them. This is the first rule to becoming a fashion diva.

Let's start from the bottom up. Take a look at your legs. Are they long or short? Muscular or soft? Don't you dare get into thoughts like "stumpy", "match-stick", "lumpy" or "manly". Notice your calf-to-thigh ratio- are your calves really tiny and your thighs pretty formidable, or do you find your calves are just as well-built as your thights... there are no wrong answer, just awareness. Now, pick your favorite part of your legs and jot it down. This is your leg feature and it will be referenced in future posts (short and skirt shopping, anyone?). I have long, soft legs without a ton of muscle definition. My favorite part of my legs are my calves and I love pointing attention to them. My calves are actually pretty small in comparison to my hips/thighs (Practical use: This makes me shy away from "skinny" jeans that tend to make my calves look even smaller and less noticeable. Instead, I opt for boot cuts that draw the eye to my favorite part).

Next, it's on to the tush, hips and lower waist (AKA my favorite part of my body!). Let's look at your rump. Is it big and bubblicious? Tiny and muscular? Square or round shape? How about your hips? Are they wide with a bit of BamBAM, a nice average size or column-esque? And travel upwards to your lower waist (aka where a lot of us seem to be wearing those low-riding pants, lately). First things first- everyone has chub there, no matter how small. Learn to love the Venus-pooch! Do you have some nice size Venus-chub there, or are you sporting a six pack? Is there definition, or lots of soft flesh? Again, pick your favorite part from this section and jot it down for when we go skirt and jean shopping (ooh and bathing suits). I have a big bubblicious behind with wide BamBAM hips and a chubby six pack (thanks, bellydance). My favorite part is my tush and I love love love it (again, accentuating the mini-skirt love and nice, tight fitting jeans).

Movin' on up, we come to the natural waist, chest and shoulders. We'll keep these together, since they're what drives our bra, shirt and top cut of our dresses. Is your waist well-definied (hello, hourglass!) or soft and column-esque? Is your bust large-and-in-charge, medium or petite? Is your ribcage broad or slight? Do you have broad shoulders or are they round and tapered? Look at the proportions down from your shoulders to chest/bust size to natural waist and notice what beautiful lines your body has. Now it's time to...yep! Pick your favorite. I love my bust- it's on the smaller size in comparison to my shoulders and natural waist, but I'm a fan (this makes me so mad when plus-size fashions try to cover them up, so I rebel with d├ęcolletage flattering shirts).

And, finally, it's arm time! Now, I'll be frank with you- this is my nervous zone. I grew up with a mother who was always pointing out arm-jiggle in others, so this was my hardest part to love. But, it's important none the less. Arm shape, tone and proportion will help us find great sleeve-lengths, sleeve cuts and empower us with finding tank-tops and shirts that show off our awesome selves. So, are your arms defined or fleshy? Are they long or short? Look at the proportion of your forearms to upper arms- are your forearms just as fleshy or tone as your upper arms, or is one more defined than the other? How about your elbows? Do you have underarm jiggle or is it flat as a board? Again, what's your favorite part? My arms are fairly proportional to each other and I have underarm jiggle-a-plenty. As for my favorite part, I love my forearms and wrists (Practical useage: I tend towards 3/4 length shirts and lots of big bracelets to accentuate them).

Now take a deep breath and look at all of your favorite parts you've jotted down.

My BUXOM Bod
*sexy calves
*bubblicious booty
*awesome tatas
*sweet forearms and purdy wrists

Damn, you're hot! Doesn't it feel good? Keep this list on you-post it to a blog entry, put it in a word file, slip it in your wallet- but don't lose it. This will be your key to fashion, your first step towards getting away from "I look terrible in X" or "I hate clothes that make people look at my Y."

Yay. Class dismissed. See you next time with Fashion Foray I: Skirts.

2 comments:

Ladybug said...

Great new blog, Brookie! I can't wait to read more.

the ineffable b said...

thanks miss ladybug! I take that as a great compliment from a Bloganista like you!