Friday, June 22, 2007

BUXOMRant: Untameable!

Ok, here it goes. I will be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a Curvalicious Phenomenon... I'm a size 14/16, which throws me in the "Plus Size" (cringes at that term, it's so close to SuperSized) arena, but I'm also 5'10". This means that most "Plus Sized" clothing doesn't fit me correctly and I feel like I have to straddle both worlds- praying that I'll fit into some of the higher sized 14/15 clothes at department stores and also venturing into the Layne Bryants of the world.

I'm not a fan of Layne Braynt- I'll just come out and say it. Why? Well, because I feel like their aim is to cover us up. Every time I go into their store or surf their site, I see very matronly cut shirts that hide curvalicious cleavage and pants that don't hug the tushy like they should. Who care if it gives you a little stomach pooch, a little muffin top? Muffin tops RULE. Say it with me now, "MUFFIN TOPS RULE!" They're sexy little bits of chub and shouldn't be demonized, at least not when they occur naturally (when I see women wearing pants 4 sizes too small for them, that's another thing).

So, while checking Layne Bryant in my daily fashion exploration, I came across one of their new items and had instant chills. Not the good kind of chills, the "OH DEAR SWEET GOD STOP" chills. They're selling Tummy Tamer Jeans, which promise to give you "a sexier, sleeker figure" (see image, left). Why! Why isn't it sexy for BUXOM Broads to just be their curvy, sweet selves? How isn't chub sexy? Really?!

I'll be honest here, I think women of all body types are hot. I don't just love curvy chicks- I think we women really got the good end of the deal when we were created, because, well... I mean LOOK at us! We get to be hot, feminine, strong, sturdy, athletic, caring, aggressive, heroic... you name it, that's us. Men are awesome too, but even most men agree that, as far as bodies go, women really won that battle. I feel lucky every day to be a woman, plain and simple.

Sigh. Look, I'm not going all soap-box on girdles. I personally feel like they should be abolished- stop holding us in! Let us fly free and be beautiful- whether we're slight and svelte or big and sassy! But I know that girdles can give a good emotional pick-me-up on our down days and make us feel better. So, if you're a girdle lover, that's all good.

I just don't like how Layne Bryant, a clothing company that should be reveling in the awesomeness of Curvalicious women, keeps offering fashions that cover-up, constrict and minimize those curves. Making a big deal about jeans that minimize our flesh and hold us in just seems to contradict the idea that they think curvy gals are sexy, beautiful and just as entitled to good fashion as everyone else.

I would love it if Layne Bryant and other mass clothiers like them would stop offering up fashion that hides and minimizes the curvy physique. How about actually tailoring jeas so we don't need the girdle? How about constructing jeans that fit our tushies and stay up?! What about NOT selling us ULTRA LOW RIDING PANTS that are made for girls with no bums? How about dresses that show our sexy curves, not cover us up in moo moos!!

Now I'm not saying all of their clothing is bad. There are some HELLA cute things there and I buy them up like hotcakes, when I get up the courage to venture in...

I just wish they'd stop hocking this crap my way. I like my big ol' luscious hips and tummy, thank you!



Anne said...

Not playing devils advocate here, I like lane Bryant, and I don’t. I feel the same way with fashion bug, everyone and a while there is a gem, but for the most part my chances of finding something that fits is slightly higher than it is at walmart. (no finger wagging now, I have a very minimal budget, and I’m about to reveal why as part of my comment)

I mean no disrespect if you are a woman who has had children, I am just generalizing… around the stomach-hip area there are issues that women who have given birth (multiple times, in particular) that women who have not will not have. And that is the actual structure of abdominal muscles. I am a woman who had three of her four children together, and what happened to my body as a result, to quote my doctor(s) "is only repairable with surgery" I don't have a hernia or a dangerous medical condition, this makes surgery elective. Even woman without my body shape issues, see their hips and stomachs change in such a way that even massive permanent weight loss will not ‘correct’ entirely.

For instance, even as I was browsing the lovely link you had up the other day for a plus sized lingerie shop, there are great things out there I could never wear and feel comfortable in as a result of this. However, stomach cinchers in combo with this make it possible. No matter how sexy fat is, no one wants to see a roll sticking out of a leg holes.

Heather said...

I will disagree with you on girdles. I think they can sometimes accentuate curves... although I also personally like the feeling of being held in. I also like BDSM and fetish looks too, hence my love of corsets, girdles and other such things. I definitely don't think they ever make me look less than a curvaceous babe.

Fat Angie said...

with the tummy tuck jeans, if anyone's going to get those, go a size or two bigger. I'm usually a 6 or an 8 in jeans, and I have to wear a 10 to feel comfy in tummy tuck jeans (I have a pair of 12s simply because they're baggy).